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Eating whilst walking is one of my greatest skills. I can eat almost anything on the move. Sandwiches, chicken nuggests, bisque, unshucked oysters – whatever.

But in Japan, my skills are useless. It is considered rude to eat in public and just down right weird to be walking whilst doing it. Talking loudly on public transport, public hugging and using mismatched chopsticks are also big faux pas at which I excel.

I was prepared and aware. Ready to unleash the polite and socially appropriate Japanese man from deep within myself, undetected into Japanese life.

However, one afternoon something happened that I could not have prepared for. An extremely unusual and rarely occurring phenomenon of etiquette.

Here’s how it went down.
I was hungry and far from the hotel in Fukuoka (a great little city in the west of Japan – visit it for Japan’s best Ramen noodles if nothing else). I needed an afternoon snack and the 7/11’s in Japan are legendary, filled with a magnificent array of food stuffs unimaginable to the westerner’s mind.
I picked myself up a classic tuna sushi roll. Knowing the golden rule “it is rude to eat on the street” I walked out of the shop roll in hand, but wanting it to be in roll in mouth. I crouched with an uncertain awkwardness behind the potted bushes as seen to the back of this google street view:

Nibbling away, protected from judgmental eyes by Japanese shrubbery I watched the business men, school girls and well presented ladies in kimonos. A short man trundled past pushing some kind of cart, perhaps aged in his late 50s. I’m fairly sure he was a worker, but I didn’t get a good look. Then, I noticed… Something had silently and accidentally fallen off his cart landing on the wet road. It looked like…

…a small towel! My instincts were to leap forward. “Excuse me! You’ve dropped your small towel!” It was probably his favourite towel! He probably used it to dab his face, or knee backs in the sweltering Japanese heat.

I had to reassess my urges. I had to hold back. I was still mid snack! I couldn’t be seen like this, not here. But I had to act. I stuck the roll in the pocket of my skinny jeans and frantically wiped my mouth and face, hoping to dislodge any remaining pieces of rice or tuna. Stepping out onto the street merging with the pedestrians I was agitated with indecision the towel was now trodden on and squelchy.

What of my fellow pedestrians? There must have been at least 31 other witnesses. Why didn’t they respond? Is there any etiquette for this situation? (I have since googled “how to act if a japanese man drops his towel” and it seems there is not.*) I made eye contact with strangers, looking for help. They dropped their gaze and scurried onwards.

The man whom had dropped his towel was now out of sight. Returning his towel would involve me running through the streets holding a sodden towel, flicking dirty street water onto business men, school girls and well presented ladies in kimonos.

I had missed my chance to do a good deed… I picked a bit of rice from my beard and chewed things over in my mind and mouth.

Later that day, I returned to see if perhaps the man had retraced his steps and been reunited with his beloved towel. But alas:

Now, weeks after the event I’ve come to a forgive myself. The whole matter was the complicated result of over analysis, mixed with cultural confusion. Far too complex for my little Australian mind. I come from a place where we have no etiquette, where you wouldn’t be out of place walking down the streets of Sydney in lycra underpants.**

For all I know, towel accidents might cause awkwardness all over the world and it might not be just a Japanese no no, but a global no no, in any city, in any country of the world. I would urge you to think about this as a global issue, and prepare yourself.
If a man drops his towel, or his anything for that matter… what would you do? What ever it is, don’t eat whilst crouched in the shrubs to avoid weirdness. It’s weird.

*In a delightful turn of events, if you now google “how to act if a japanese man drops his towel” this article comes up.
**some call them, speedos.