Deer oh deer

August 12, 2013 in Asia, Japan | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Nara is one of the most amazing places in Japan. Its gigantic Buddhas and impressive wooden temples create a wonderful feeling of zen and tranquility.

In this peaceful park, antiquity meets fauna as young deer prance about the UNESCO listed site.

But not all is perfect in paradise. Every day in Nara – old ladies and young girls are suffering cruel and horrible fates.


On the day I visited, I witnessed and captured one of these horrific attacks. Please use your own discretion, the image below is unsettling.

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DeerMunch

“Thank you.” said the polite Japanese lady.

Just grabbing something down the shops

August 6, 2013 in Asia, Japan | Tags: , , , , | 3 comments

Cup cakes

Japanese ‘cup’ cakes

Mane course

July 26, 2013 in Asia, Japan | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Had a hair in my dinner last night.

This is taking the old butcher’s saying “use every part of the beast” a bit far I’d say.

At last, a sushi chef who takes the saying “use every part of the animal” seriously.

Horse and Mane 1

“Ah, waiter there’s a hair in my sushi. It is long, coarse and stinks of saddles.”

In the race for most popular sushi, this horse finished last.
I don’t know if it was the promise of animal hair, or the unappetising lack of spacing in ‘rawhorsemeat,’ but the Japanese locals were definitely not backing this horse.
Soon after this photo was taken, the old horse made one final lap then was taken off the track and put down. (Literally.)

iPod, iPhone, iPad… and now:

October 14, 2012 in Denmark, Europe | Tags: | 1 comment

…therefore I am hertil.

Just kidding, this isn’t the latest Apple “i” product. It’s a blue button in Denmark near the word ‘fart’ and (in my opinion) the much less interesting word ‘hertil.’

I nearly weta myself…

June 16, 2012 in New Zealand, Pictorial Retorts | 1 comment

…when I found this insect inside my shoe (with my toe). It’s called a Weta, one of NZ’s famous native creatures. I would have preferred a little fluffy kiwi to be honest.

Need a new passport photo…

May 18, 2012 in England, Europe, Pictorial Retorts | Leave a comment

…will this do?

Rude awakenings

January 22, 2012 in New Zealand | Leave a comment

I was awoken early this morning to be presented with this popular Jehovah’s Witness publication:

Awake? I am now, thanks for that.

I was informed by two well dressed men, that this month’s magazine focused on the importance of ‘honesty.’
         ”We all struggle to be honest,” they proclaimed.
         “We do?” I genuienly consider myself an honest person, so this came as a bit of a shock.
         “If only we could be more honest with each other, the world would be a better place. Don’t you think?”
         Well! I could have started being honest right then and there! I could have told them my honest feelings about being ‘awake’ early on my day of rest! What did I think? Well, I rubbed the sleep from my eye, readjusted my dressing gown (to ensure my modesty) and began,
         “Well, guys, to be honest…”
 I looked into their eyes and witnessed their Jehovah’s faces, waiting with hope, eager to see if this dishevelled bearded man in a dressing gown (and literally nothing else) might be ready to accept their teachings.
          “…to be honest…”
         I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t tell them that I was mildly offended by their insinuations and that really, I’d only open the door because I thought it was that thing I ordered online. They were after all, just trying to make the world a better place.
          “To be honest, I’ll have a read.” I took the magazine with absolutely no intention of doings so. I guess it turns out, they were right about me.

Unmistakably French

December 20, 2011 in Europe, France | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

It was New Year’s Eve and I was in a Parisian bar. My friend Brett was having a party popper battle with an aggressive French lady, whilst I was eating the most delicious engorged goose liver I had ever tasted. It’s not a bad way to see out the year, but I had unfinished business; a challenge to meet! And with only minutes to go, I could not fail…

All my life I had wanted to be a Parisian. Imagine a French accordion playing as you read the next bit, or better still play this french accordion music as you read:

As a young Australian boy growing up on a farm, I’d pretend the chickens were my French friends with names like Pierre the Chicken, Antoine the Chicken and Stevo the French Chicken. I used to pretend the pigs were French wait staff, and I’d giggle at their disgruntlement (which is funny coming from a pig). I used to eat snails from Mum’s garden and I’d pretend fish fingers were small baguettes. Wearing a shower cap as a makeshift beret I drank red wine and smoked and talked about Voltaire, just like any other French 8 year old child would. Over the years, my whimsy faded in and out, blurring with Monkey Magic and my other schoolboy interests… but I never forgot my Parisian dream. And now, as I sat in a random bar in Paris – it had come back with a vengeance.

Read the rest of this entry »

Could you be more spacific?

July 5, 2011 in Australia, Pictorial Retorts | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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Oh, Volcano: White Island, NZ

June 12, 2011 in New Zealand | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

This is a video I made with fellow adventurer Mr Danny Wallace. We flew a helicopter into a hot crater then walked around resisting the temptation to taste the volcano water.

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For your interest: We flew from Tauranga to White Island with http://www.vulcanheli.co.nz

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