I was awoken early this morning to be presented with this popular Jehovah’s Witness publication:

Awake? I am now, thanks for that.

I was informed by two well dressed men, that this month’s magazine focused on the importance of ‘honesty.’
         ”We all struggle to be honest,” they proclaimed.
         “We do?” I genuienly consider myself an honest person, so this came as a bit of a shock.
         “If only we could be more honest with each other, the world would be a better place. Don’t you think?”
         Well! I could have started being honest right then and there! I could have told them my honest feelings about being ‘awake’ early on my day of rest! What did I think? Well, I rubbed the sleep from my eye, readjusted my dressing gown (to ensure my modesty) and began,
         “Well, guys, to be honest…”
 I looked into their eyes and witnessed their Jehovah’s faces, waiting with hope, eager to see if this dishevelled bearded man in a dressing gown (and literally nothing else) might be ready to accept their teachings.
          “…to be honest…”
         I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t tell them that I was mildly offended by their insinuations and that really, I’d only open the door because I thought it was that thing I ordered online. They were after all, just trying to make the world a better place.
          “To be honest, I’ll have a read.” I took the magazine with absolutely no intention of doings so. I guess it turns out, they were right about me.